Half way into the 40s, life beckons still! More than half of life gone, assuming a natural life progression and death, what should I reckon from four+ decades which went past? A collection of experiences, encounters and happenings of 45 years behind me— what to make of the future?
Death
“Death is inevitable” the old adage till now relegated as a proverbial truth, rings so true and experiential now — a mama (uncle) or a mami (aunt) in family, a mami in the neighbourhood, a teacher from school, friend’s dad, dad’s colleague, a cousin, a friend’s brother — the list goes on, but in these decade of 40s one thing sure is happening which is the news of death of near and dear ones keep trickling time to time descending those days into a pall of gloom
Every breath you take, you are getting closer to the grave — Sadhguru
For sure, I reckon now a whole generation is vaporising and vanishing into thin air in front of my eyes and giving a constant reminder about the mortality of my being. Homes becoming empty signalling end of a generation, end of a certain history. And now here I am witnessing a new bewildering future, whether I like it or not has to be accepted which is people like me and other same aged coterie of people as mine are getting pushed into the throes of old-age.
Suffering
More than death sometimes the suffering of people as they walk into their sunset years is more painful and numbing. Physically getting unhealthy and dealing with it is one thing, but mentally and emotionally going through trauma, self inflicting oneself with pain looks like the most grotesque form of suffering. These self-inflicted ones emanate from years of conditioning and rigidity of mind.
“7AM I want to have filter coffee piping hot in front of me” — Ok what if I don’t get coffee and get tea instead or just hot water?
“I will eat four cooked meals a day at specific times” — Ok what if I get fruits and raw vegetables only for certain days instead of cooked meals?
“My curry has to be made to a tee as what my mom used to give me” — Ok what if I get curry cooked from outside as no one is able to make it at home?
“My home should be mopped, cleaned, dusted and made immaculate every morning” — Ok what if I get it cleaned only twice a week?
“My daughter should call me daily at 9:30PM” — Ok what if she is busy now and calls only once a week?
With firm likes and dislikes, you shut your doors to the many possibilities of life — Sadhguru
Lot of us may be hard-wired to certain rigidities in life after years of conditioning and practice. These strong likes, strong dislikes, strong opinions are hailed as a positive personality trait in our times, but over the years what I realise is strong opinions, likes and dislikes is a sign of weakness which can entrap me and chain me and my life into those opinions. Being fluid, being with the flow, accepting what is in front of me is the actual freedom and the secret sauce to reduce suffering. By loosening the likes, opinions and expectations, when a time comes when things don’t work the way I want it, this fluidity would give a leeway to accept things as they are rather than getting perturbed and vexed up by how they are not.
Well Being
Seeing a generation completing their roles and responsibilities and leaving us — I reckon the most important aspect to pay attention in the coming years would be my well being. These days thrust is on investing in health care, health insurance, planning for care in future etc., but what I realise is investing in one’s own well-being in a disciplined and structured manner is very important.
This body is a machine that gets better with use — Sadhguru
Maintaining suppleness of the body is of paramount importance and yoga I see is the sure fit bet for this. I would gauge suppleness by the comfort with which I can sit in cross-legged posture on the ground unmoving for sufficiently long duration. Advantage of yoga is it can be done without any equipment nor can it be subject to the vagaries of weather, all I need is a tiny 6x6 space and the only impetus from my side would be willingness to show up daily. I can’t imagine myself at 80 lifting weights in gym nor running 40km. Investment in yoga, doing fasting (intermittent and full day) and meditation is the path I have set for my well being in the long run.
Foundation
More than accepting death, suffering and investing on well-being, one thing I reckon to be a must have in life is to have a strong spiritual foundation. This spiritual foundation can in turn go a long way in divvying up the experiences of life and making the most of it. What exactly it means to be spiritual?
Spirituality has nothing to do with the atmosphere you live in. It’s about the atmosphere you create within yourself — Sadhguru
I had many misconceptions of being spiritual — be it attaching it to religion, or thinking it as a path to heaven, or living a life visiting temples and doing daily rituals. But now I reckon spirituality has nothing to do with any of the above, it is only about how to experience and perceive everything around me in a totally new perspective. How I perceive, how I experience situations around me decides whether I am going to suffer the situation, or come out untouched from it. Indian culture, traditions, practices had the innate ability for making one spiritual quite naturally without putting much effort or programming the mind for it. Devotion is one of the fundamental ethos of Indian culture, devotion not to any God — but just being devoted to anything and everything around, realising the smallness of who am I in front of this massive, intricate and beautiful creation and getting this realisation that tomorrow if I fall dead, planet is still going to spin and everything is going to be fine. These are the tenets of being spiritual as per my understanding. So why this hullabaloo, tension and suffering? A strong spiritual foundation I feel would go a long way in cushioning the pulls and pressures of life and smoothen the path of life.
And I would summarise my takeaways of the last 40+ years as follows
- Accepting the inevitability of death — it can be tomorrow or after 40yrs doesn’t matter, but sure it’s coming and the finitude of this life is apparent, so better live it fully before it’s over
- Dissolving the likes, dislikes, opinions, expectations and creating a little distance from them and not to suffer by being rigid about them
- Invest in well being, physical, mental and emotional, which hopefully can avoid chronic ailments and reduce dependence on doctor appointments and medicines
- Building a spiritual foundation and basing the rest of life on top of that foundation which can change the perspective of how I live this life
Here’s a wishing for the 40+ fraternity, let the golden period of life kickstart now!
